Well, it's been a while. I packed up all his stuff from our apartment and gave it back to him. He wanted me to just throw it all away, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't toss out his stuff. His weights, clothes, presents I got him.....our life together. I couldn't throw our life away. That was two weeks ago and we hadn't talked since then. I stopped checking my phone every 5 minutes for his call. I accepted the fact that he left me for another woman and they were going to be together. I was starting to accept the fact that our lives would go on seperately. That our story was over and it was time for us to start new stories apart. That part I'm still trying to accept. And then yesterday he calls me at work. My coworker had brought in her beautiful 8-day-old baby girl for us to meet and he called me. As I was staring at the miracle of life and realizing life goes on and happiness is in my future, and then my past calls me. I didn't answer. I texted the number and asked what was going on. I got a text back saying that my ex was acting weird. Immediately my heart began racing and my mind ran through a million scenarios. Is he hurt? In trouble? So I immediately call and my ex answers the phone. We talk for about a half hour. He tells me again that he misses me, he's not happy, he thinks he made a mistake, he can't move on, etc. It all sounds great but I can't believe it when he is still dating another woman. When he has to hide me and can only see me when no one else knows where he's going. That's not the kind of relationship I want. I told him that he needs to find happiness. That he needs to do whatever he can to make himself happy because life is short. If he really does miss me and thinks he'd be happy with me, then he needs to do whatever he can to make that happen. His life is shitty, but he's letting it be shitty. I told him to get his passion back. Hopefully he listens.
It was really great to hear his voice. Reminds me how much I miss him...
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