6 months

This Friday we will have been broken up for 6 months. I will not have seen his face for 4 months, nor heard his voice for 2. And for the first time in 1 1/2 years, I'm ok with it. You see, I recently realized that I have fallen for another man. He is sweet and funny and actually listens to what I have to say. I could see myself with him for a long time. Unfortunately, I let my previous relationship spook me into not trusting him and the moment I thought he may not feel as strongly for me as I do him, I completely shut him out. And now the awesome relationship he and I were starting to develop stopped dead in its tracks. I apologized for doubting his feelings, for flipping out on him for no reason, but it didn't seem to help. He's different with me now. I mean, he still wishes me a goodmorning every morning, but his texts went from "mornin' babe =-)" to "mornin." He doesn't call me babe or dear anymore, just ash. And now he said he wants to think about things and that he wants to talk with me but I shouldn't worry. Please, if anyone truly knows me, then they know I'm going to worry. Rarely is a man wanting to have a talk with a woman a good thing. I know what's about to happen, and all I can do is blame myself for the outcome. I messed up big time. I've never really regretted anything in my life, but if this relationship ends, he has the satisfaction of knowing that it would be my first regret.

I officially do not ever want to see Cy again.